I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
