yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
