Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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