i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
