margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I think my vagina is haunted
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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