the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
