I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
