dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
