guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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