I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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