my room smells like sperm. sweet.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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