once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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