Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
NoShamevember. You game?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
