I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
