we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
