Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
