Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
