i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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