There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
