Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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