I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
