as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
