Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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