Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The feeling are messing with the penis
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
