with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
