i don't plan on having that self control this summer
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
we made out on top of his cat.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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