bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
