you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
