I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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