When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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