yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Never joke about your clitoris.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
