I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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