THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
if i died would you start the facebook group?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
