I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
