So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
