Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
