turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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