Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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