there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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