he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
