I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
