is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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