16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
