the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
