I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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