why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Four minutes until I can fart!
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
