her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
