hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
