May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You are the jesus of drinking
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
