This dress was meant to end up on your floor
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
